Let The Colors Flow

I realize I'm different. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. What's been bugging me lately though, like a NoSeeUm at a picnic, is that I don't feel different. I mean, I don't feel ugly. Inside, I feel beautiful, but outside.....I look ugly. At least I think that is how people see me. People seem to really care about being all dolled up, putting their face on, and doing up their hair. Angel Face used to play with my hair, when I had hair and didn't look like this, but she would have loved me even now. Angel Face wouldn't care that I am different, she would simply love me because of me.


One thing I have learned since coming out of the ground is that looks shouldn't matter as much as they do. When Arly takes me and Found Friend out on field trips, I watch people. I see their eyes staring back at me, like they are trying to figure out just what is wrong with me. Do they not get that sometimes their hair is hideous? Do they not realize their face may look like as different as chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, or pistachio? Maybe they don't really. Maybe they just see me as bizarre, and won't take the time to see past my face into who I am. I see that as a shame on their part. Humans are just too artificial I think. They need a good dose of some dirt to change their lenses.


This afternoon, as the sun started to dip just a little lower than it normally does I decided I would plank myself next to the window so I could feel the warmth of the light flowing in. I didn't expect what happened next. I mean, I had no idea the light would turn to color, and as soon as I realized it the colors started to flow all over me and all of a sudden I knew I would be OK, at least for today. Basking in the glow of all that rainbow light made me realize something. Yes, I am different. But on the inside, I am filled with all these brilliant lights that are beautiful, and one day, yes, one day, everyone will see the light inside me instead of landing their eyes on my face and stopping cold. Maybe I will tell Arly to write that in her book. Maybe I will tell her to tell them.....to see me for who I am, not what I look like. Then again, Arly already does that, and I bet as sure as I am blue she will tell the world for me. She will tell them, let their colors flow too!


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One Long, Hot Summer!

Have you missed me? 

I used to lay in my bed at night and wonder what Arly was thinking. I wondered why she spent countless hours talking about how she found me, how tragic it was that I was found like.....well...you know, but that she quit using her typewriter thingy to share my story. My feelings were actually hurt a little and I didn't understand. 

Was it because she got tired of writing about an ugly doll?

Was it because she thought my story didn't matter any more? 

Was it because she didn't love me? 

All those thoughts, ideas, fears I say.....yes, fears, floated around in my head for the past few months and I didn't have the courage to be bold enough to ask her. As the days grew hotter, and the nights caused my hair to stick in clumps, all matted like because of this gosh awful Alabama humidity, I secretly wondered what had happened...until today that is. Today I got my answers, and if my cheeks could blush, I would be glowing a beautiful shade of amethyst, rather than my usual peacock blue. 

Arly has been writing a book. Not just any book. Not just a simple story like Harold and the Purple Crayon. Not just a "sits on the shelf and gets dusty" book, but a book about ME! All this time, all this "what on earth was she thinking time", she was writing my story and now I feel all silly like. I really thought she didn't love me. For shame I say! She isn't finished though. Arly says she has a long way to go, but now that summer is drawing to a close, she is taking a break to sling some paint or something, and take a few more pictures of me. That means I have time to work on my diva hair and pose.

I love to have my picture taken. Found Friend and Ecky doesn't mind it either, but they really don't get into much. At first, after I was found, I didn't want my picture taken because I was embarrassed about how I looked. But these days, I am embracing my 'inner beauty' and have high hopes to be a couture model. Arly had this magazine filled with dolls as pretty as petunias. Their faces where baby butt soft looking and their hair....well their hair is what dreams are made of. When Arly wasn't looking I crawled up onto that magazine with a mirror to get a look-see at what it would be like to have big hair. What do you think? Is it me? Gaaaahhhhhh! It's crazy looking isn't it? 

Glad to know it doesn't take big hair to be loved. I've got that love couture market cornered these days, :) 


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