I realize I'm different. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. What's been bugging me lately though, like a NoSeeUm at a picnic, is that I don't feel different. I mean, I don't feel ugly. Inside, I feel beautiful, but outside.....I look ugly. At least I think that is how people see me. People seem to really care about being all dolled up, putting their face on, and doing up their hair. Angel Face used to play with my hair, when I had hair and didn't look like this, but she would have loved me even now. Angel Face wouldn't care that I am different, she would simply love me because of me.
One thing I have learned since coming out of the ground is that looks shouldn't matter as much as they do. When Arly takes me and Found Friend out on field trips, I watch people. I see their eyes staring back at me, like they are trying to figure out just what is wrong with me. Do they not get that sometimes their hair is hideous? Do they not realize their face may look like as different as chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, or pistachio? Maybe they don't really. Maybe they just see me as bizarre, and won't take the time to see past my face into who I am. I see that as a shame on their part. Humans are just too artificial I think. They need a good dose of some dirt to change their lenses.
This afternoon, as the sun started to dip just a little lower than it normally does I decided I would plank myself next to the window so I could feel the warmth of the light flowing in. I didn't expect what happened next. I mean, I had no idea the light would turn to color, and as soon as I realized it the colors started to flow all over me and all of a sudden I knew I would be OK, at least for today. Basking in the glow of all that rainbow light made me realize something. Yes, I am different. But on the inside, I am filled with all these brilliant lights that are beautiful, and one day, yes, one day, everyone will see the light inside me instead of landing their eyes on my face and stopping cold. Maybe I will tell Arly to write that in her book. Maybe I will tell her to tell them.....to see me for who I am, not what I look like. Then again, Arly already does that, and I bet as sure as I am blue she will tell the world for me. She will tell them, let their colors flow too!